A GIANT BIG THANK YOU TO MY FRIENDS HERE.!

(THE BASILICA AT LORETO.)

http://www.napoli.com/

Hello there .!........

Dear Friends of the journal.I have read your kind and lovely comments that you have left for me, under my Dads article.I was both touched & moved by them, Honestly, and I genuinely felt UPLIFTED.It was a lovely surprise for me , that is why i felt it deserved a special letter of a 'GIANT THOUSAND THANK YOU '1) For bothering to read me. 2) To leave such warm and thoughtful comments.

I only wrote that letter about my Dad on the spur of the moment .. yesterday, as I have been thinking of Him and my mum an awful lot these days.I only skimmed the surface in that letter.Their 's INDEED was an amazing story to tell (as were millions of others, displaced in the war etc..) (I Also Know That You Have your own stories to tell, of your families / friends / in dark times.Maggs mentioned her own Uncle Lovely in Sicily a short while ago ... (re .)... Russia who fucked the bloody Mafia .. in his own homeland .. AS MORE he had seen in 2 days there, than they would see in the whole of their measly, Cowardly lifetimes ... ..

I have no idea .. how they survived, without Giving Up & Crumbling, the whole of the war as child slave laborers in Germany (My mum was only 12, she was taken from her village to slave, oh sorry, to work in Germany , A LITTLE scraps on her own, (her sister, my Aunt Weronika, who was a lot older than mum (who is still alive today after having (12 children) & still living in the tiny cottage where my mum was born.) & Already married gave her a jacket at the train station that my uncle belonged to her husband, Karol., with no proper shoes .. screaming & crying for her mother .. a lttle girl who had never even left her own life in her remote village ... who just used to herd cows, & daydream (just like mrs krap does). and was lucky to have a day in school., WAS. on a train journey of a lifetime ... with 1000's of other Polish children. ..) & this same scenario was happening all over Europe at the same time ... Niether my mum nor my dad saw their OWN PARENTS .,..,.. EVER AGAIN SO I NEVER MET MY GRANDPARENTS .. I never knew them .. ON EITHER SIDE .....( it's my DEEPEST REGRET ...) AND I DID NOT MEET MY FAMILY IN POLAND .... till I was 15 years old ... WHEN MY DAD TOOKA U.S. / me and my Brother Stan ... FOR THE 1ST TIME .. (& it was the first time Dad had gone home since the war.,. SINCE HE WENT TO THOSE COALMINES .. in an alien country so far away from home ... 15 yrs it's old ..,.( LONG story so I'm only skimming bits.

From Germany, when it was liberated .. he went to France in a Seminarium (with an idea) to study to Be a Priest ... HE WAS VERY CLEVER HEADSTRONG .!...() & PASSION & felt LOST-Because He THOUGHT, THE BEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRL Whom He Had fallen in deep love with * Janina * that He MET IN GERMANY (my mum) WAS DEAD ..! It's all very complicated .... or that he would never find her again ..... he also knew that a latvian Lothario ... WAS DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH MY MUM .... and on lithuanian as well ... . (HE HAD BIG COMPETITION !!!.. i know that the ONE NIGHT .. 3 of them in Germany. FOUGHT OVER HER! I mean a proper Fearsome FIGHT! My dad was very jealous .... and my mum somehow. .. to my dad appeared to be flirting with the Latvian.she was dancing with him., and he dragged her off him and started ... The fight he had a terrible row with her .....( lots happened in between ... ...... VERY DRAMATIC letters-poems ---

I do not think they saw each other again till, .. ,, After the war, (that's a long story ...)...... of searching ..

(My mum told me all this) she said, he never forgave her for that night ).... Mrs. krap could well have ended up being half ....!..... I think the Latvian Lithuanian ... was 3 rd choice ... there was actually a 'Greek' lurking around as well .....( my older sister has all the photos) ... it is like looking at a black and white film .. OF DELICIOUS LOOKING PEOPLE ....

. .. It was all DEEP SIGH ..... CHAOTIC bombs ... death .... SS,,, SA,,, ...,, ROMANCE and by then, he was a partisan & the Germans were looking for him. (I'm confused about some of it ... because he did not talk about it a lot.) I know he was very ill, he contracted Typhus and T / b and malnutrition during the war .. .. .. etc .

,. (I'm stupid, I should be writing a book about this) BECAUSE IT IS A PROPER LOVE STORY .... I MEAN ONE OF THOSE OF AN EPIC FILM Worthy .....& the two main characters, My Parents ... WERE, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL in Modern terms ... 'DROP-DEAD-GORGEOUS .. (I PROMISE-I AM NOT JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE I LOVE THEM .,..... ...= my father. WAVY BLACK HAIR GREEN EYES-AND-Curious PEARLY WHITE SKIN .. . (that used to burn in summer) he was moody and had a Bad Temper ... MY MUM A CROSS BETWEEN RITA HAWORTH... / MAUREEN O HARA ... & oh,,,, god .. she was just so SO BLOODY EXQUISITE TO LOOK AT ... honestly,everyone fell in love with her ....& everyone fell in love with my dad .....& he knew it .... ahahahhahhaAHAHAHHAA He was a dandy.! THROUGH AND THROUGH ..... he loved women .,... he was a womaniser ... MY OWN GODMOTHER Krystyna ... .. (Krysia) who is still alive.IN Manchester ... A VAMP .....! One of the most beautiful looking and wholly sexy-strong-sexual-sensual woman of my life ...... even tried to seduce him .. My dad!. More than once.! .. I CAN NOT LIE. ;. in my world as a young teenager / woman. / .. I Remember women throwing themselves at my Dad ... (even my own school friends who used to come to stay .... SCHOOL GIRL HAD MAD crushes on him ....(. honestly) .. (my brother is exactly the same.as him)!

Anyhow, (he could not afford to take the whole family ... so he went to Poland with us first two ... and Mum went a few years later with my 2 sisters ... & then she just went again with Anna supermodel ... my other sister (she actually was a real model .. but hated it .. and did not bother to continue .. she could have gone very far .. we always said she was the milkmans daughter .!!.. Think Kate Moss then think 100 times more lovely ... (I'm the black sheep of the family ... a 5 ft. dwarf with hairy legs .... & my dad said I was a philosopher with a pearl in her mouth ahahahhaahhaa ....) and i looked after the household when Mama went home .... (I FIND IT ALL SO ... soooo ... TRAGIC!) After the war and then somehow they managed to start, a whole strange new life in England and have 5 children ... MRS KRAKPOTOWSKA BEING ONE OF THEM .!... But they were lucky-in that, they ESCAPED the Concentration Camps & IT WAS touch and go sometimes.I have many true stories to tell of their lives and some of them MADE MY HAIR STAND ON END.; .. poignant, tragic / TERIFYING / but.,. .. SOME really funny ones as well, amidst all the PAIN AND TERROR .. and well, IT'S sort of, like a movie, only it was real.

The large Polish community that I was brought up in around Greater Manchester, .. was just full of people like My Parents, but a lot of them had indeed been in Dachau and Oswiecim camps, ... a lot of people were deported to Siberia ... oh dear .. Our old Parish Priest, Father Lewandowski .. was in Dachau, Treblinka & ... & he had the most horrendous TIME ..!!. they experimented on him in dreadful /. Horrific WAYS ..,. I Survived HOW HE WILL NEVER KNOW ... (they put a brick in his stomach (The Nazi Doctors) & well do you know what ... I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO SAY IT'S TOO .... anymore ... . .. too horrible.Ummmmmm horror film stuff.

What was nice though as i grew up and became a Nurse .... Fr Lewandowski .. started to become very mentally disturbed as he grew older & he was admitted to the Psychiatric Unit in the same hospital that i worked in, as a Geriatric Nurse.

He would not allow any near him .. & Nurses as is sometimes the case. (As I frequently observed in my nursing days, he seemed to completely forget the English language that he was 100% fluent in, and proceeded to speak only & understand Polish ... (he was actually fluent in 6 languages and 7 if you count Latin .. (he had a Colostomy and a urinostomy and other medical problems .. apart from his mental condition ... so I ENDED UP LOOKING AFTER HIM .;.... The staff on my ward used to bend over backwards to try and spare me ... to go over to 'THE OTHER SIDE, AS WE CALLED IT.' to enable me to help him as much as I could apparently he used SCREAM ... for me ... all day and night ..! & go into FITS of Rages .. .. wanting Nurse EJ ..!!. I used to get phone calls all the time from Frantic .. staff who were all English of course .. and could not understand what he needed / wanted / .. etc ... it was very difficult for me, as he WAS A VERY OLD FASHIONED PROPER PRIEST, Already, I think 80 yrs old ... VERY HOLY.! (when i was a little girl & even as a teenager, I was terrified of him.! We used to have to kneel infront of him, and recite prayers and the Catechism polish & things ..! . And if you got something wrong! oh god forbid! HE WOULD GO-MY DAD WOULD GO DEMENTED DEMENTED-AND MY MUM WOULD BE blamed for everything! NOT FOR BRINGING U.S. UP IN POLISH R / C WAYS.! ( IT WAS NOT ALL FUN AND GAMES AT ALL!) IT WAS THE STRICTEST! confusing! & mind boggling CHILDHOOD ..!... U.S. BECAUSE KIDS! We were 2 LIVING LIVES IN STRICT R / C POLISH ONE & AN ENGLISH ONE aahhaahaahaaha ..... & BEING TOLD Constantly ... "As Soon As POLAND IS FREE WE ARE GOING HOME ???????. ".... Even though we were born ahahhahaha In England! Anyway, I have got sidelined as usual .... where am i up to ..?.. oh yes, Father L. ... and it was so embarrassing for me .. .. AT FIRST to have to do all the bathing etc .. and to changing his dressings and measuring his urine .. & emptying his bags.etc ... but I got used to it in the end ... (I Just Prayed for the best !!!!!) And he adored me .. MIND YOU, HE STILL DID LOSE HIS TEMPER AND SHOUT AT ME ...... IF I WAS TOO SLOW AT HIS BUTTONS FASTENING and things ...... this frail elderly man, who NO LONGER terrified me, ... the man who heard my first confession as a child and then gave me my 1st Holy Communion .... started calling me 'Mama' (mother in Polish) .. He became like a child., .. totally dependent on me ... I used to sing Polish hymns to him at night & tuck him in his bed ... I used to feed him with a special spoon, i found in the sacristy, .. a sort of ceremonial one .. , on the days he was really not up to anything. (my mum used to cook him meals lovely polish, to tempt him to eat).

I became an altar girl., .. Helping all the various priests, who used to come and visit him to say mass in his room ... I went through an awful lot really,. Because I was running from one place to another, ,, and I FELT SO GUILTY ... when i had to leave him.,. & GUILTY, when i had to leave my ward.,. when we were so short staffed, etc. ...;. BUT., .. the MY MUM WAS UPSIDE ..;.. was so PROUD OF ME ... (my dad had died by this time) and all the people at the Polish church that we belonged to. ST MARY'S SO .. were .. well sort of ...

.1) HAPPY & Relieved, that i was looking after their elderly priest ..

.2). MY MUM., .. JUST GOT ENDLESS PRAISE (FOR ONCE)!, That her daughter is an angel ... yes, ME! It was SO NICE .. for Mama to BASK in Glory ....& GLOAT !!!.. anyhow, to cut a long story short, poor Father L, with the right care & drugs ... recovered enough to be Able to go to a Polish Special Nursing Home for retired priests, and was looked after by Polish Nuns till he left this world, with the proper care he deserved ......

I'll add that ;...( Because this is so FULL CIRCLE.) Prior to all this ..., .. When i was 17, I went to Italy for one month .. all .. THANKS TO Fr.Lewandowski , Each year, polish parishes from around the whole of the world, pick young people from the ages of 16 to 24 ish). From their churches to go to something called Kurs (course) it's ...>>>>>> LORETO for children of POLAND .= emigrates .. (It's very hard to get a place .. you have to be something in GIFTED OR want to be a Nun. (i did want to be a nun ... till I was 15, then I changed my mind !!!)... BUT ,.... poor old Father. ... Lewandowski GUESS WHO HE picked ,,!,,, MRS Krap !!!!! yes ... MEEEEEEEE! The Parish paid for everything .. you just needed your own spending money! AND THAT IS HOW I ENDED UP in Monte Casino. &. sang for the Pope (Paul) the something, i can not remember his number) WE HAD A PRIVATE AUDIENCE .. arranged, as was the Norm ... however, the poor holy father was unwell and quite Frail that day, he was privately recieving no-one ... so in the end ... we just Ended up in Castel Gandolfo. . just in the Square.,. and there did our singing COSTUMES IN OUR GORGEOUS POLISH ...,. OH.! .. I Looked LIKE A FILM STAR! aahhahahahahaaa ......... Anyhow, the Pope came out on his balcony ... He was so tiny and frail but ... .. HE LOVED OUR PERFORMANCE ... (i was the soloist ... The BELTED IT OUT! I nearly burst the swiss guards Eardrums ... & HE, and waved down .. looked right at me & smiled and laughed .. & wanted an encore .. so he got three ..!. & That same afternoon ... ELVIS PRESLEY DIED AND THE WHOLE OF ROME WENT MAD! i also was asked out by 100's of Romans I (I THINK IT WAS MY RED BOOTS UP Laced that they liked ... kinky) (and a bruised HAD boom!)

Everything happened that day and I was nearly run over ... and this gorgeous man (it could even HAVE BEEN AUTHOR our ..... for all i know ... he had a beard!) Helped me out, i remember my silk ribbons blowing in the breeze, ON MY italian headress of fresh flowers of all kinds. I vividly remember Cornflowers blue ... it was so beautiful and he said ... I WAS SO BEAUTIFUL! he did! ahahaaaaaahhahahahaa .... oh it was so romantic ..... I MET SOME SUPER SOLDIERS FROM PALERMO that same day and sneaked off with my friends for drinks with them (we lost the bishops and priests and even a Cardinals ...! !) Oh dear ... those were the days ... i wrote to Flavio ... FOR YEARS ....!! HE kept inviting me over to Palermo ahahhahahaahaa ... oh ... HE WAS SO GORGEOUS! I still have his photo's somewhere in his uniform .. .. .. .. BUT i was engaged (almost) to my polish boyfriend Tadeusz ... a writer. & Musician and a karate expert Don & Champion Fencer (he taught me karate and fencing ...)... who ended up living in chicago .. (i dumped HIM) (well not at first ).... when i found out he was having an affair with my own cousin Bos'ka!! They denied it all of course ... but .. .. i knew as soon as they both picked me up at Krakow airport ... and i got into his tiny Fiat .. .. and it had pictures of HER!. all over it ... None of ME ????? EVEN He had her on his KEYRING ....( The One I sent him from England!) AhahahaahahaAHAHAHAAA CHEEKY SOD! I have to admit ... she was extremely beautiful .... You would call the type supermodel looking ... the strange thing is She ended up living in Chicago as well .. Not with him ... she married a very rich man (in Poland) .. a jeweler .. she was my best friend in the world ... our Fathers Were Brothers ... but she lived in The East and I in the West .... i have lost touch with her now, years ago ... she was in the Olympic Team for volleyball ... .. they are mad volleyball in Poland, well, they were once .. & she was a champion skier ... as she grew up in the high Tatra Mountains in Zakopane .. I know she had 2 children and Damien kamil.in America ... my gosh they will be grown up now I suppose). & I wonder what happened to Tadeusz ... WE PLANNED OUR WHOLE LIVES TOGETHER. .. i wanted to live in Poland .. i was young and stupid ... everyone was .... COMMUNIST POLAND TRYING TO ESCAPE AND GET OUT AND MRS Krap ... WAS TRYING TO GET IN !!!!!!! ! ahahaaAHAHAHAHAAHAA!

So then, (back in Italy) I met Father L's Twin Sister!! SHE WAS A NUN IN ROME. (He had given me a large parcel for her to pass on) .. oh I'll never forget that day., I WAS ALLOWED OUT OF THE PRISON,. (That's how strict it all was. .. On kurs Loreto ..)..!! To go to her convent somewhere in Rome .... (We were in Rome for 3 days) .. & I arrived there and she met me in this BEAUTIFUL GARDEN ....& SHE looked JUST LIKE HIM ..... BUT ... VERY JOLLY! & laughing all the time ... .. ohhhhhhhh SHE HAD TO FLOUR OVER HER FACE AND A GIANT APRON ON ... .. AND GOLDEN TEETH (And warts around her nose.) JUST LIKE HE HAD! HONESTLY ... she was baking because i was coming .... AND I MET ALL THE OTHER NUNS .. I stayed for HOURS ....... I LOVED IT! .. I LOVED HER .!.... Siostra (sister) .. Zosia (Sophie) ... awwwwwww she will now have died .. the sisters wanted me to stay with them in the convent (honestly). .. WE HAD THIS FANTASTIC MEAL sitting around a long long Refectory table ... & we sang all afternoon into the evening ..... they all cried, Standing at the doors when i left .. waving me off ... I Cried ... THEY WERE SO HAPPY .. SO LOVELY .. . SO EXCITED THAT I WAS THERE ...... oh god ... .. who would have thought, that all those years later I would have looked after HER OWN BROTHER IN HOSPITAL .. .... Is not Life weird .... I wonder what happened to that debonair man with the beard .... and those eyes that melted ME ON THE SPOT!. I felt steam rising from the pavement ...... IT WAS LIKE LOVE AT First Sight .... he was older than me .... Just when things were Hotting up! One of the PRIESTS CAME .. (HE WAS HORRIBLE THAT ONE ... like a lttile Hitler!. .. Shouting at me that we had to go .. and we are not to get separated THAT Rome was a dangerous place for young girls etc. ..... I JUST WANTED THAT MAN ... TO ME .. Kidnap ...!!.!! Anyhow, the day ended badly for me (it always does )..... I was wandering around this place / park .... with all these busts of emperors. in the grounds (I found out years later that it was called 'bourgeois mansion')..& SUDDENLY ... I WAS SURROUNDED BY COLORFUL PROPER Gipsies ... . begging ... They looked so beautiful .. & exotic to my eyes .... there were just around perhaps 6 of them with children ... So I gave them all the LIRA ... i had ... and just As I was walking off ... from no-where-100's of them appeared and surrounded me .. I kept saying I had no more money left ..... i tried to walk away ... they were following me and pulling my sleeves and things ... anyhow .. one ... the women CURSED ME ... i mean properly ... SHE SAID SOMETHING VERY FIERCLY! SOME CHANTS. ... OF SOME KIND?

. & Then Spat on the floor .... and then she threw some Sand at me ... In my face ... in my eyes .. she had this in her pocket in a little pouch.?. It was awful .. she was so angry! BLAZING.! . ..... My eyes were streaming and then the priests came running up to .. shouted AT ME.like mad! .. SAID I WAS STUPID! FOR GIVING THEM MONEY ...!! That I should have just ignored them ..??? I ALWAYS wondered WHAT CURSE THAT WAS ... IT'S NOT FAIR because i did give them all i had on me.

Apart from the curse ........ THAT MONTH IN India was .. One of the best times of my life ..... I loved 'Loreto' that is where we were based. it's all to do with the Polish soldiers saving the Beautiful Basilica there, during the 2nd world war .. I always meant to go back to KURS LORETO by applying to be one of the Tutors on the course .... but I never did. However my younger sister Basia ... she was chosen to go years later after I had been, only this time it was held in a haunted castle / monastery / somewhere up a mountain, called something i can not remember ... chev Chisari ..? oh i can not remember ... anyhow SHE LOVED IT AS WELL. (She said it was completely WILD though ... ahahahaaahahaa !!)... and she got her private audience with Paul Karol Wojtyla.John 11 ... My dad did not live long enough to see her go.He would have been so proud .. (she was only 12 when he died). ... BUT he did see me go .. and He was very proud .

Mind you, had he known what we were all getting up to in Italy Steamy ...... he Dragged WOULD HAVE ME BACK ... to ENGLAND BY MY POLISH PLAITS .!.... When you are 17 and you are away from home for the 1st time .. ALONE .... with 300 young rebelious wild things ... then ..... well .... you have a JOLLY GOOD TIME ... .. do not you .... Freedom .... what bliss ........