Hello...hello>>>> ello ellooo.!!..Ciao!....PRONTO! Hi there..!......>>>>> ELLO ELLO....
mrs krap has just taken ........one second out of her day.......>>>>> nearly 6 pm.BST.(THE MIDDLE OF TIME .NO less)......Out of the blue....>>>>>.comes a phone call......'Hello...are you o/k'..?.'How are you '?very long silences...(MY END)(after ..longER silences..)..Sheepish sort of terrified voice..asks."Would you mind,..if ...steve & dave & glen and gary come to stay...?(as WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF RECORDING A SONG....& WE ARE not really finished yet;...& we have all the equipment.....WE?????..have it ???????? or YOU HAVE IT!!!!!???????????? ...)...
ArrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!
ARRRRRRRGHGHGGHHGHGHGHRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!HAIR STICKING UP ON END...TONGUE...LIKE QUICKSILVER....AND A CHARACTER OF STEEL...!!!(MRS KRAP !)ANSWERS THE CALLER....IN MUTED honeyed tones........!!!!ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!in a perfectly feminine UNDERSTANDLE way...(TO NORMAL PEOPLE)......
Mrs Krap..Asks (a Perfectly normal question) 'WHEN'? .......2 mins silence..maybe 3 !!.'.Tonight',says the caller.........IN A VERY CONFIDENT WAY...!!.....( oh! i SEE!!!.....) FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!) the lot of you.!! Answers mrs krapetta!!!......"I MEAN IT....!!!!YOU ARE NOT!! I REPEAT! Not !coming here(and all the while mrs krap is mentally making beds up....making comfortable..and warm spaces...WHY ???????????? because she is a WOMAN!!!!)
10 mins later,.....The.KINDLY MRS KRAP.........rings mobile of caller........"OK....THEY CAN ALL COME...BUT, ...THEY CAN SLEEP ON THE FUCKING FLOOR........YES,.......????? Agreed???
caller..answers,....."WHY ARE YOU SUCH A BITCH"?????
Krap answers ....I don't know...you tell me...you made me into ONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
30 MINS LATER,...CONDITIONED AND controlled to all MALE DESIRES....DECENT,...CONSCIENTIOUS ,ALL LOVING, GOOD OLD ..MRS KRAP, HAS A CASSEROLE IN THE OVEN...BUBBLING AWAY.MERRILY.......Hmmmmmmmmmmm
& all the while...she thinks.......of early fleetwood mac............WHY? .....WELL........
ahaahahahahahhaahahaa ..BECAUSE SHE IS....MRS KRAP...suddenly the onions...are...gnomes...the carrots are ,,,elves....the potatoes are..LithUAnian...POETS,..THE green beans are....PENIS'S .....&....THE ...the sweetcorn are............oh; .......i have to go,...to prepare....rooms, NOT FLOORS.....I WILL SLEEP ON THE BLOODY FLOOR............
I SHALL COME BACK TO THIS; ....WHEN I HAVE .....SEEN MY WILD MUSHROOM SOUFFLE' RISE.^.DEMOLISHED...!!!EATEN, never Sunk !!...AND ..BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I LOVE...EARLY FLEETWOOD MAC..........!!!
the GRILL iS ON.!!! si- yes- tak qui- ..........well then the >>..Apple -toffee...-creme' brulee....is BURNING.......!!!!!!!
and all the while i am having MAD SEX....leaning against the hot oven door.....PEELING APPLES..!!!!!& WHISKING EGG WHITES TO WITHIN AN INCH OF THEIR LIVES.......>>>>>
And thinking to myself......,where are all the hot water bottles.,....?????????
It's damp and dismal tonight....
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6 commenti:
Signorina Krapettina, rido a voce alta, ma quando sei forte eh???????
la tua vita e giornata e' un vero Variete'. Mu@@@@@@@@@@@@
i didnt understand who was coming over.
Oh maggs.....don't worry neither DID i aahhahahaahaaahah!...
AHAHHAHAHAAahahahhahaa oh DONNA (FRAU) Si , Sig: Krapettina is strong....and her life is varied....ahaaaaahaha... oh! uno momento...i do it in italiano...i forgot. wink wink...OCCHIOLINO...0 0........
4 cavemen, a viking,...and a plethora of speakers-guitars-sax-mikes->>>>>antiques -old frames a mirror -(not for me for sale)..ummmmmm..pottery...OH AND all the new paintings to be researched and sorted...my tidy lounge..NOW LOOKS LIKE A FLEA MARKET AS DOES THE DINING ROOM.....As does the hall and the ........oh......mrs krap...tomorrow is another day...go to sleep..YOU MIGHT GET BREAKFAST IN BED....yes mrs krapetta..but..ps..you don't eat breakfast......i'll make an exception and have porridge...
4 cavemen, a viking,...and a plethora of speakers-guitars-sax-mikes->>>>>antiques -old frames a mirror -(not for me for sale)..ummmmmm..pottery...OH AND all the new paintings to be researched and sorted...my tidy lounge..NOW LOOKS LIKE A FLEA MARKET AS DOES THE DINING ROOM.....As does the hall and the ........oh......mrs krap...tomorrow is another day...go to sleep..YOU MIGHT GET BREAKFAST IN BED....yes mrs krapetta..but..ps..you don't eat breakfast......i'll make an exception and have porridge...
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