Dear David ,
Hello, how you are? My name is Mrs krakpotowska.I just wanted to let you know (JUST INCASE) you haven't got your compass with you..:..DOWN BELOW ....is a 'serious' type of interesting letter left for you to read by our AUTHOR...your coffee companion..IT IS 'TITLED'.....to you...."For the attention of DAVID FLOOD". YOU CAN'T MISS IT! WE ARE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR COMMENTS -YOUR -THOUGHTS-MUSINGS - ect...on this letter...THAT WOULD BE JUST SO SUPER! I'm dying for you to write something (when you have time).Anyhow...I will be writing on and off today...because i am at home researching how many earthworms have walked past my dahlias ;and as to WHY they appear to love the CRIMSON ONES BEST....well actually they are more RED...than crimson...they seem to have an affinity with earwigs...? the worms I mean...as earwigs love dahlias ...)I have attended 2 DARWIN exhibitions in the last 2 months.....3 IF YOU COUNT the one yesterday ,that i only got the last 15 mins of...as i missed the train ...to leeds....& the next one was cancelled...THIS IS BRITISH RAIL FOR YOU...!!....so IF YOU LOSE THAT 'LETTER'........down there........IT'S MY FAULT....refer to me.....the MOST senior foreign correspondent EVER Invented.....and I WILL FIND IT FOR YOU....;can't say fairer than that. Inspector Clouseau..will help as well....:....& Miss marple will always be at your service..,apart from today that is...SHE ..had to take her bike to the village post office as she got a puncture.....& then she saw.,....an offer for free stamps! ...and then she started investigating this.....as it was MOST unusual...to GET OFFERED....FREE STAMPS! unless they are GREEN SHIELD ONES...that were NOT really FREE in the first place as you HAD to buy something..etc..OH....i must go now....as ...my posting will be measured and it is /has/i think ,GONE OVER THE RULES....OF SIZE ALLOWED....mind you ,there is ONLY going to be me writing today ...SO I WILL USE all the other writers allocated space up!
yours most honourably & sincerely & jolly well -have a nice day
from MRS....KRAKPOTOWSKA...........I know David..,..MY NAME IS 'AMAZING ......ISN'T IT.
ps...........I have just seen a cloud in the shape of an 'Indian smoking a pipe' and that's the truth....honestly....
pps....I HAVE LEFT YOU A LITTLE COCKTAIL...just incase you need a drink....us polish/anglo-saxons/ are very hospitable people & just to prove it ...i'll give you a little clue...YOUR LETTER IS RIGHT UNDERNEATH.....those....NUDE. LADIES.
Monsieur Poirot........! what a surprise...! What are you doing here....? "Parrrrrrrrdon ?... You have come to search for Monsieur David's letter.....OH !!! Monsieur Poirot......THE LETTER ISN'T MISSING YET !!!! ........Pardon ...? So you are going to go to the P/O....to get some FREE STAMPS instead>>>>>>>> But miss Marple is already there ! .....Qui Qui Madame KRAP.....i can zee sniff er perrrrrrrrrfume....i love ZI SMELL OF MOTH BALLS.....& Vet Vellingtons.........I weel follow my NOSE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"VATE JUST VON MOMENT...POIROT!!" says INSPECTOR CLOUSEAU ......." I weel say this VONCE & ONLY VONCE....
This pending case of Monsieur daveeeds not yet missing letter eeeeeeeezz MINE !........i am clueless.....but i veel find zee clues....if the time comes.....in zee meantime...I veel just VATE...& obserrrrrrrrrrve Remember Poirot I AVE A MOUSTACHE AS WELL...AND MINE EZZZ ZEE PROPERRRRRR
FRENCH ONE FROM GAY PARI.!..NOT FROM SEE BRUSSLES SPROUTS LAND!! No vonderrr eet az become suddenly ,so VINDY here........& THERE eeeez a strange smell............
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